In every moment and situation we have the opportunity to view things with our earthly eyes and senses or to look up with the eyes of our heart and see the Hand of God moving and arranging and cradling and protecting. He is not hidden or far from us if only we could look more closely. I know that I miss some of His many ways He lavishes me with love every day but I also find my awareness of His strong and gentle presence growing all the time. I never ever feel alone or lonely. There is such a deep resonance of His Holy Spirit within me.

Perhaps the deepest moments of helplessness and solitude come with the death of a loved one. My dad died Sunday morning and I sat by His side and read Scripture that was blurry on the page through my tears but I read the words of comfort boldly and confidently as I watched him take his last breath and watched my mom weep and kiss his cheek. I couldn’t see the host of angels in the room and I couldn’t see Jesus standing there with my eyes, yet I knew as surely as I knew the ground was beneath my feet that there was life in that room at the moment of bodily death. I saw God’s hand preparing the way for all this to unfold while I was there (I live a thousand miles away from my parents and only visit two times a year).

There is so much more to this story though. God’s hand has been holding the conductor’s baton and orchestrating events that would lead to that moment for years. My dad and I did not have an idyllic relationship. I was a troubled and rebellious youth and he was a stern and emotionally unavailable father. We would agree years later that in those important early years we actually hated each other (truth is truth and we owned it which God actually used to unlock many chains). God obvioulsly did and continues to do a miraculous work in my life and heart but He also softened my dad’s heart. I led him in a prayer of salvation with Jesus Christ several years ago in a hospital room. We forgave. We forgave hard words and disappointments and misunderstandings. I never became Daddy’s girl but we always said the important words these last years and I know he was proud of me and enjoyed seeing me. There was love and it all came because of the holy movement of God’s hand.

God is not a distant, uninterested Father. He is desperate for us. Desperate to get our attention. Desperate to heal the places that our humanness and pride and frailty have ruined. Such exquisite beauty and tenderness came in the moment of dad’s death. All of the wasted years and selfish squabbling washed away. Those earthly things are temporary. They have no place in what God has planned for us in eternity.

I know some of you reading this may have estranged relationships or have regrets and a hard heart with a loved one that has already passed. A holy thing can still happen in your heart. Look for Him and where He is going before you and wanting to make a beautiful plan of what seems like a total mess right now. He is not far from you and He is desperate for you to reach out and take His hand. He alone conquered death and He is bigger than any hurt your heart holds. I know. I’m living that truth.